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Beyond the Diagnosis: Language, Belonging, and Raising Confident Deaf and Hard-of-Hearing Children
An inspiring conversation with Maddie Hinkle of Chicago Hearing Society
by ASL Picture Books
Every child deserves to feel understood, valued, and connected. For families learning that their child is Deaf or Hard of Hearing, the journey ahead may bring unexpected questions, unfamiliar experiences, and important decisions. But it can also open doors to a welcoming community, new friendships, and wonderful possibilities.
Few people understand this journey as well as Maddie Hinkle.
As Youth and Family Connections Coordinator at Chicago Hearing Society (CHS), a division of Anixter Center, Maddie has spent nearly a decade supporting Deaf and Hard-of-Hearing (DHH) children and their families throughout Chicago and surrounding communities.
During our previous interview, I was struck by the joy Maddie expressed as she shared stories and photographs from her classes. With genuine excitement, she highlighted the children's unique personalities, their experiences, and the fun they have learning together. It was clear how much these children and families mean to her.
We're delighted to welcome Maddie back to ASL Picture Books! In our earlier conversations, we explored the importance of American Sign Language, family connections, and accommodations for Deaf students in mainstream classrooms.
This time, we're looking at something deeply personal: How can families help their Deaf or Hard-of-Hearing children grow up feeling confident, capable, and proud of who they are?
From those first emotional moments following a diagnosis to developing language, building friendships, and learning to advocate for themselves, Maddie offers a thoughtful and encouraging perspective. Her message reminds us that children need more than services and support. They need language, belonging, opportunities, and people who believe in them.
Raising confident Deaf and hard-of-hearing children begins with more than a diagnosis. It begins with access to language, supportive relationships, a sense of belonging, and opportunities for children to discover their strengths and advocate for themselves. Maddie Hinkle of Chicago Hearing Society shares how families can nurture these foundations from early childhood and throughout their child's development.
Let's hear from Maddie!
Language from Day One: Finding What Works for Your Child
Kathleen: When a family first learns that their baby or child is deaf or hard of hearing, what do you wish someone would tell them right away?
Maddie: When a family first learns that their baby or child is Deaf or Hard of Hearing, the most important thing to know is that they are not alone.
I know many families feel immediately overwhelmed and isolated from their own child. These feelings are valid, but stem mostly from a lack of experience.
There is a world of support and a thriving community that is there to welcome them and guide them through.
The second thing is that language starts at Day One. The largest indicator of future success cognitively, socially, and emotionally is the ability to communicate. Families need to start working on language right away!
Hearing children are getting huge amounts of incidental language from overhearing what is going on in the world around them. Families need to be thinking from the start how they can provide more language exposure and intentionally build language into their child.
Get involved with the Deaf community through mentors, professionals, and advocates to get that language going.
Kathleen: What do you see parents worrying about in those early days that you wish they didn’t have to fear?
Maddie: Families are often under the impression that they need to make a decision about a child's language modality and that, once they do, that decision is final.
I like to think of language as more of a grab bag. You provide your child with tools - ASL, speech, AAC devices, cued speech, etc. - and let the child show you what works best for them.
There's no reason to pick one thing and reject the others. More tools in the toolbox of communication is a positive, not a negative.
Additionally, you're not stuck once you start something. It is important that families keep an eye on their child's language development, so they know what is working and what maybe isn't. If something isn't clicking or the child isn't responding to one of the offered "tools," it may be worthwhile to pivot or add an additional support.
Don't get stuck in the belief that language acquisition follows a linear path, just keep working and adjusting to build language into your child!
Beyond the Diagnosis: Celebrating Your Child's Identity
Kathleen: Children may suddenly have audiology appointments, doctor visits, speech or language services, hearing tests, and other appointments. How can parents make those experiences positive while being careful not to unintentionally send the message that something is “wrong” with their child or that they need to be fixed?
How can families celebrate who the child is while still providing the services and support they need?
Maddie: Representation goes a long way to help the way children view their experiences. Find books, videos, and other media that shows children going to appointments, engaging in speech therapy, or being fitted for new hearing aids.
Make an effort to give your child opportunities to see and interact with other DHH youth (as well as DHH adults) so they can see that those experiences they have are normal, even if not everyone does them.
A Deaf Mentor shares free, donated books with one of their mentoring families. DHH kids engage in ASL Storytime at CHS’ annual Deaf Family Day at Lincoln Park Zoo. A Deaf volunteer chats with students as part of our ARMED (Adult Role Models in Education of the Dea
Left to right: A Deaf Mentor shares donated books with a family in the mentorship program; Deaf and hard-of-hearing children enjoy ASL Storytime at CHS’s annual Deaf Family Day at Lincoln Park Zoo; and a Deaf volunteer chats with students through the ARMED (Adult Role Models in Education of the Deaf) program. Photos courtesy of Chicago Hearing Society (CHS), a division of Anixter Center.
Be intentional about framing appointments and therapies as something positive. If you are frustrated because you're running late and it's hard to get everyone ready in the car, the child will pick up on that and may start to feel like their support services are an inconvenience or a burden.
Try to make those outings something fun by playing special games, reading special books, or framing them as special one-on-one time for you and your child.
Raising Confident Deaf and Hard-of-Hearing Children Through Self-Advocacy
Kathleen: How can parents help children learn to advocate for themselves as they grow, without making the child responsible for solving every communication barrier?
Are there simple self-advocacy skills you believe children and teens should learn?
Maddie: The most successful way I have found to encourage a child's self-advocacy skill is to model it. Big ways, small ways, you need to model advocacy.
At home, if your child doesn't understand something you are trying to communicate, slow down. Be patient. Show them that asking for it to be repeated or phrased differently isn't an inconvenience. If you don't understand something they say/sign, model advocacy by asking: "Can you repeat that?" "It sounded like you said you were hungry. Is that right?"
If you're watching a movie at home, put the captions on. If your child is starting swim classes at the YMCA, request an interpreter. I don't care if they aren't fluent in ASL yet or if it seems like a hassle or if they don't seem to really be paying attention to the interpreter. Every time you demand access, you are demonstrating to your child that it is important that they understand, that they have the right to supports that help them understand, and that you value their understanding in big and small things.
Let your child practice self-advocacy in safe environments like ordering food at a restaurant. Don't just do it for them, let them try! Nothing disastrous will happen if it doesn't go perfectly.
The more you model and encourage advocacy, the more confident your child will be in advocating for themself in the future.
Building Belonging Through Deaf Community and Connection
Kathleen: How can families help normalize deafness, hearing differences, hearing technology, ASL, interpreters, accommodations, and different ways of communicating—not as something embarrassing or unusual, but simply as part of everyday life?
Maddie: At the risk of sounding like a broken record, normalizing Deaf experience requires engaging with the Deaf community. Explore movies, TV shows, and books with DHH characters. Watch videos and online storytelling resources. Attend Deaf community events that allow DHH children to play with and learn from each other.
Involve Deaf adults in your family's life so that both you and your child have positive Deaf adult role models. You need to see thriving Deaf adults, too!
Request interpreters and point them out when you see them in public. Make accessibility tools like captions or T-coil support the default. Deaf folks have been finding and building community since the very beginning, and your child gets to be a part of that amazing history. How wonderful is that?
A Message of Hope: Discovering the Joys of the Deaf Community
Kathleen: If you had five minutes with a parent sitting in the car after learning that their child is deaf or hard of hearing, what would you want that parent to know before they drove home?
Emotions can run high; what comforting thoughts can you leave with them?
Maddie: I have worked with DHH youth and their families for almost a decade and I know that families often experience a sense of loss, of grief, when their child is identified as Deaf or Hard of Hearing.
From the "failed" result on a newborn hearing screen to the highly pathologized medical system, I know families are often presented with the DHH identification as a negative thing. I have seen and supported families through these emotional responses and letting them feel those feelings is important.
The first two of my five minutes, we can feel them together. But with my last three minutes, I want to encourage that family to celebrate.
I'm a disabled adult, I know all too well the way society's view on something can impact you. But you know what? Because of my disabilities, I have forged my strongest friendships, accomplished my proudest moments, and been a part of my most fulfilling efforts.
This family with their newly identified DHH child, they have gained an incredible lifelong support through the Deaf community. There are so many wonderful things about deafness, about visual language, about access, and about this community. If I can take this quiet moment where the family feels most lost to show them that the medical perspective of "hearing loss" isn't the only way to look at this, that's the most comforting thing I can think of.
Kathleen's Reflections: Listening, Learning, and Belonging 💜
One of the things I appreciate most about Maddie's advice is her reminder that families don't need to have every answer from the beginning. Take the first step, observe, listen, and remain open to changing direction as a child grows.
Her words reminded me of author Karlie Waldrip's story. Karlie's parents didn't have all the answers either, but they remained interested, involved, and open to her needs. When Karlie expressed that she wanted an interpreter, her parents listened. The time was right for Karlie, and that decision became an important part of her journey.
What a valuable reminder that children have something to tell us, too! Their needs may change over weeks, months, and years. Listening to our children, providing opportunities, and remaining flexible can help them discover what works best for them.
Maddie's final answer offers another beautiful perspective. When a child is identified as Deaf or Hard of Hearing, the entire family may be beginning a journey into unfamiliar territory. What parents may not yet realize is that a welcoming community is waiting to embrace them, too.
Through friendships, shared experiences, visual language, and connections with Deaf adults and families, parents can discover new perspectives, support, and possibilities they never imagined.
Sometimes life's unexpected journeys introduce us to blessings we didn't know were waiting.
Every child has a gift to give. And every child deserves the opportunity to discover it, share it, and know they belong.
Connect with Maddie Hinkle &
Chicago Hearing Society
Stay connected with Maddie and explore the programs, resources, and community connections offered by the Chicago Hearing Society.
Email Maddie Hinkle
Website
Let's Keep the Conversation Going!
How has connecting with the Deaf community enriched your life or your family's journey?
We'd love to hear your story in the comments. Your experiences may offer encouragement, understanding, and hope to another family just beginning their journey.
Thank you, Maddie, for sharing your experience, compassion, and dedication to Deaf and Hard-of-Hearing children and their families. Your words remind us of the extraordinary power of language, connection, and community.
🖐️ Discover ASL Picture Books and more resources for learning and connecting at ASLPictureBooks.com
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